This week, some drama....surprise, surprise.

So it's been a helluva week around here.  We never really got much of a weekend.  Saturday was devoted to to-do lists and Todd's cousin got married.  We spent about 8 hours in church clothes running from here to there and there to here.  It was a beautiful wedding celebration and it was so much fun seeing family but I was so pooped when we rolled into our garage at 10:30 pm that night.  I did find out, however, that Target sells maternity pantyhose and that I can still squirm into pantyhose in the car while Todd's making multiple U-turns and cussing under his breath.  That's fairly impressive for 28 weeks pregnant, I think.

Sunday was filled with various church and family activities and while I am glad that we celebrate birthdays and people's lives in my family, I wish we'd all do it when we're ready to actually spend time around each other.  I don't think that I was the only one who was wanting to sleep through Sunday evening...and the atmosphere was tense.  I love my family, but I still think (5 days later) that maybe I should have just stayed home.  Hindsight = 20/20.

I was counting on Monday to be a shiny bright start to a shiny and productive week.  It wasn't.  Monday brought a failed glucose test and the knowledge that I get to test for 3 hours to ensure that I don't have gestational diabetes.  While I've been constantly reassured that even if I do it's "only for a couple of months" I am still a bit freaked out about it.  I mean it's MY body that this is happening to.  Plus, I love bread and pasta.  Aren't I paying enough prices for these kids?  Why do I have to give up bread and pasta?  I should find out more come next Monday or Tuesday...I tested all morning Thursday so the results should be in soon.

Tuesday resulted in us finding out that Jackson's arm, while healing quickly, isn't really healing super straight.  The doctor wants to see him again in a week and will look at the latest x-rays and decide if it needs to be re-broken.  How fun.  Jackson is a brave little man with much fortitude and strength.  However, he does NOT like needles, sedation, or being out of control.  I would almost rather hold him down while we "complete the procedure" than ask him to accept sedation or any kind of shot.  It's would be easier.  I'm not going to spend my time worrying about it because if it's all due to muscular pull, that bone could be straighter next week rather than crooked-er.  Crooked-er?  Really?  I'm going to pray that it's straighter, anyway.  Poor Jackson, he's been so brave and patient...he doesn't need an additional 2 to 3 weeks of healing time.  He needs baseball!

Wednesday was just crappy old Wednesday full of stuff for me to do and not enough time.  Plus, I never get any "down time" on Wednesdays.  It's always 90 miles an hour from 6:45 am until well into the wee hours of the night.  I hate Wednesdays.  Hate.  So that's all I have to say about that.

Thursday was ridiculous.  Not only was I at Davis Hospital getting poked and fed glucose far more than anyone would like, Todd sprained his ankle so badly that he's on crutches for at least a week and a half.  Seriously?  By the time I headed home at 12:40 pm to feed and put Logan down for a nap, I was ready to cash in all my chips and catch the slow boat to dream land.  No such luck.  The dogs, the horses, Todd, it was all crashing in and I have realized that, once again, I have managed to create an environment where I get to prove that I can "do it all on my own" even if I don't really want to anymore.  Don't get me wrong.  I have a lot of people in my life who are willing to support and love me.  However, sometimes they have lives of their own which take precedent to my dramas (which I do understand) and sometimes I don't tell people what I need, and sometimes life just freaking sucks.  Now, at a point when I am more tired and more sore than I have been with any pregnancy (thanks so much Father Time), I am responsible for most, if not all, of the manual labor in our home.  All of the things Todd does around here to handle the yard, the livestock, the boy management, are not an option for him while he's on one leg.  It's so GREAT!  (Sarcasm is just dripping off of that previous sentence.)  I know I get to ask for help and I know that I get to hold (and teach) Jeffrey as capable so he can help carry the load.  I am clear about it.  But what a lot of brain damage.  It's not my experience that I was lacking in my gratitude for Todd and all he does.  I do admit, I like how I do things better...because I am me, so duh.  However, I am grateful for what he does, even when he does it his way, and I miss that he won't be doing a lot of it here in the next few weeks.  I am hoping he heals well and quickly so that I am not (literally) breaking my back in the last month of this pregnancy.  We have a nursery to get ready as well.  Ugh.

Today is Friday and so far, so good.  Todd is back at work and is finding out if he'll be working at his drill weekend or not.  He isn't able to work the flight line, so I don't know if they'll have him attend.  I hope he's home with me.  I'd love to have a nice Saturday with him.  Jeffrey and Jackson are at school and I am listening to Logan eat his "Goo-loo" in preparation for his nap.  A Goo-loo is a burrito.  I don't know why...it just is.  I'm glad I know, so I can respond when he asks for it.  I intend to snooze while Logan does.  My belly and back are sore and I didn't sleep very well last night.  My heart is at peace though and that is a step in the right direction.

I am grateful for friends and family who teach me things.  I am also grateful for the wisdom of the spirit and what it imparts.  I have much to learn, but during weeks like this, I am reminded to persevere toward what happens next.  I firmly believe that once we are done with this phase of our lives, we will move on to a phase where we have magical powers and the horses are fed, the goats watered, and the children bathed with the snap of my fingers.  And the house cleaned, and the bills paid, and the blankets knitted, and the laundry done, and, and, and...