Parenthood, gardening, and schtuff...

Hello Everyone! It's been forever and that's so unforgivable. I've been super busy. Too much to say or do in one post, yet an attempt at an update is warranted.

Todd's been in Texas for almost all of April. He comes home this Friday, May 1st, and I think his plane lands at 11:30 pm or something. Slumber party in the car! I better make sure we're stocked up on Spongebob movies and juice for Jack. Todd's been doing some training for his new job with the Air Force Reserves as the Operations Officer for the 419th AMXS here on Hill AFB. I think if we lined up all the training Todd has had for jobs with the Air Force, it would be taller than 18 semi trucks stacked on top of each other. He's worth millions to them at this point. I would think...

Being a single mom isn't all it's cracked up to be. I have no idea how "they" do it! I truly deliver my respect. I have thought a little bit about this and I know that, to some degree, it's about bucking up, not giving up, taking things one day at a time, and realizing that failure is not an option. I've definitely been applying all of those principals this last month. Even when I wanted to cry "UNCLE!" because yard work was inevitable, I made it happen. I also think my kids have "two parent syndrome". This is a good syndrome to have. Don't get me wrong. They deserve to have "two parent syndrome". I'm grateful I could give it to them. "Two parent syndrome" is a syndrome that is derived from a child having an "intact family" where they can take for granted that all things adult (and even some things not) will always be handled by one parent or the other at any given time. This is because both parents are regularly on the spot and have their "personal" stuff handled to the degree that they are "on top of" the family as a unit. Now, just because a family is "intact" doesn't mean that their children will end up with this syndrome. I think it only happens when both parents are actively involved with the children, the household, and all other family dynamics on a regular basis. Who knows? Maybe my kids have an especially "severe" case because their dad has been around a lot more than the average dad this past year plus? It's just a theory people. Ultimately, my point is, that my children do not behave like the children of a single parent. My children are a little bit "spoiled" because they just spend most of their time being kids. They don't worry about helping unless they are asked to. Unless something has become drilled into them as a habit (i.e. my kids make their beds every morning right after breakfast because they've been hounded so much about it, it has become routine) they don't think to help or assist unless they are asked. If you combine this with my ridiculous lack of talent in asking for assistance you have one wiped out mom and three confused and helpless kids. So, what we've been working on this month is helping them learn to be aware of their environment. I've been working with Jeff to realize when something "extra" needs to happen. He's learning to look up and realize that the baby needs juice or the dogs need to eat and I can't be expected to ask him to handle it because I don't know about it or because I'm otherwise occupied. I think that children of single parents are a bit more independent. They tend to realize that their one parent can only do so much at one time and so they either develop extreme patience (not a trait of my kids) or they develop the ability to take care of themselves (to a degree). As I said, it's just a theory. But I realize that if we were this way (sans Todd) for the long term, my kids would get to shift. They would get immediate occupational therapy for their "two parent syndrome" and they would become more mobile, more self-starter-y, more independent. The thought, while comforting, is also terrifying. Anyone who knows Jeffrey knows that he would be hell on wheels were he more independent.

Other activities this past month plus are that Logan has developed, along with the ability to run and climb, an extensive vocabulary. He's now saying the following: "mommy", "daddy", "monkey", "dog", "Jack", "Je-ree", "kitty", "more", "yum yum", "bird", "horse", "bye bye", "night night", says "gook!" for drink and food, and makes monkey and kitty noises. He's also giving kisses with a "smack!" and blowing kisses when he says bye bye. He's wonderful! What can I say? His "Crazy Larry" hair is back and I need to cut it. I'll get around to it before Todd comes home. Maybe this afternoon?
Jeffrey tested in the top 10 percent in the NATION in Social Studies on the IOWA test. What a smart cookie! I'm so proud of him. He's unstoppable. Jackson just got an award for reading 200 books this year at school(and we've still got a month of school left). He's one of the top 3 readers in his class and we're so proud of how hard he's worked to learn and grow this year in Kindergarten. It seems that, considering their performance at school, my method of less television and video games is working. Hmmm, good to know.

My yard is rockin'. As soon as Todd's insurance settlement comes in, I can complete the project and finish the easement and rubber mulching but it's nearly there! I planted 250+ bulbs last fall and they are coming up so cute! My cherry trees are rocking and so beautiful with their flowers. The Forsythia are gorgeous this year and my flowering crabapple tree popped blooms this morning. My perennial garden is going to be amazing this year because everything is mature now. The little Killdeer family is back this spring, making their nest in my burm and raising their brood. I love them so much! I am loving all of it! It reminds me how much God loves us. If He didn't, we wouldn't have such rocking biology!

Easter was short and sweet. We participated in the Easter Egg hunt at Hooper Park. It started at 9:00 am and ended at 9:05 am. Jeff and Jack got tons of loot, of course. Logan was hilarious. He took off to "hunt" and just sort of wandered around. At some point, after passing many pieces ofcandy and a few colored eggs, he found "it" because he stooped down and picked up a tiny green tootsie roll fruit roll. He dropped his basket and took off. It was if that is what he had been searching for his whole life. At that point, the hunt was over. He did, later, pick up a small leaf and put that in his basket. He didn't "need" anything else. What a man.

Todd's parents came up for a few days and we had lots of fun with them. They took the boys golfing and spoiled us with some dinners out and "Monsters Versus Aliens". It was very helpful and a lot of fun! I am grateful for their support.

This next week will be my last as a "single" mom for a while. I'm glad. I'm tired. While we've all survived, there is no reason to believe that we need to continue to do it and I'm certainly clear on the reason for the Lord's plan with regard to family. I love Todd. I am grateful he is such a great husband and father and I wouldn't trade him. Not for the single life and not for anyone else. He's mine, I'll keep him. I am grateful for the work he has with the Air Force. I know he loves it and that he feels like he's completing some of his purpose by being able to serve our country. I am grateful for the income and the stability the Air Force provides. I am willing to pay the price of being an occasional single mom so that we can have those things. I just don't want to do it anymore RIGHT NOW. Give me a few months to get my feet back under me again, then we'll talk.

I love you all and hope you're well!
HUGS.

Winter Doldrums...or not.

Hello, hello everyone.  While it's been more than a week, it is less than two and so I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better (go ahead, think Monty Python, that was my intention).  There just hasn't been a whole lot going on this past week and a half.  I guess that isn't completely true.  Just not much picture-worthy, not much exciting, not much astounding.  We've been living along though, and with life, has come growth, experience, and something new every day.

Last week was a busy one.  Todd was working, working, working.  Over the weekend (prior to Valentine's weekend), he was full-time Captain Hardy at work with the 419th Maintenance Squadron here on Hill AFB.  The base was having a readiness exercise and it's a lot of work when you're martialing active duty guys around who work with their equipment and status every day of the work week.  Imagine, preparing guys to deploy to war when they only think about the military 1 weekend a month and 2 weeks a year!  While I'm sure that these guys and gals would be great in an active theater...getting them there is another story.  They aren't used to having their equipment prepared, their records updated, or their bodys in the right place at the right time.  Todd was ready to blow a gasket every time I talked to him all weekend long.  It wasn't just the reserve troops he was struggling with either...the active duty folks were making things doubly difficult because they are used to having immediate access to all military personnel whenever they want them.  Apparently reserve folks aren't always that accessible.

All in all, he was a great leader and got things done.  However, it wasn't without some yelling, goose-stepping, and threatening.  He didn't have the nickname "Ray Liotta" in Basic Training for no reason.  In addition to his UTA work on base, Todd has been pouring, shooting, and testing body and vehicle armor for the newest Phoenix Alloys project.  They are working with two big armor contractors to land sales contracts or maybe, even limited partnerships, to work this armor.  This stuff is pretty amazing.  It's stronger (by far) and a third lighter than anything our military and/or law-enforcement personnel are using right now.  We are anxious to get it out the door and into practical use.  Not just because of the money it will bring in, but ALSO and EQUALLY important are the lives it could be saving this very day.  Keep your fingers crossed and say your prayers...this stuff is miracle stuff, I'd love to see it get out there on our real life heroes.

Todd, Jeff, and I all had the (in)famous Blue and Gold Banquet last week.  With Todd as Cub Master, me as Bear Den Leader, and Jeff, our token scout, it was a family affair.  I had no idea how much time and attention it would occupy.  Luckily, my mom and dad watched Logan and Jackson while we scurried around, decorated, and ran the thing.  We had so many big to-dos that night!  Four boys received their Arrows of Light, not to mention plenty of awards in the Bear and Wolf dens.  Thankfully, we had lots of help from the other cub scout leaders and from some parents.  At the end of the night of "Presidential Celebration and Learning", we knew a lot more about our past and current presidents, had bellies full of lasagna, garlic bread, and salad, and a bunch of happy scout families.  Can I just say I'm so glad it only happens once per year?  What an ordeal.

With Todd running around like crazy working several jobs (how many does he even have now?), I was re-living my days as a military wife/single-married mom.  Only, I never did do that job with THREE kids.  Three is hard.  A lot harder than two and vastly harder than one (not even in the same ball park).  As a friend of mine once said, "When you have three kids, you switch from man-to-man defense, to zone."  No kidding.  I have two eyes, two ears, two arms, two legs, two hands...when what I really need is NOT three but at least five of each!  These boys are all over the place all at the same time.  It has been an adventure but not one I wish I could change.  I am growing into a better mother (I hope) and have spent a lot of each night evaluating how to be a better parent.  It is going to require my growth and adaptation as our family makes this next transition with Todd gone most of the time.  One thing is for sure, Jeffrey is going to have to step up and be the oldest (and most helpful) child.  I do enjoy watching him embrace his role as biggest brother.  He is a mother hen to Logan. He follows his around way of his risk-taking and

worried about catastrophe.  He enjoys watching Logan learn new things and develop new skills but he's just certain that each risk he takes will be his last.  As a result, Logan refers to Jeff as "No No!".  That's what is always coming out of Jeff's mouth at him, "No, No Logan!"  I think it's really funny.  Jeff walks in the room after returning home from school and Logan smiles and yells, "No No!" and points at Jeff.  Snicker, snicker.  The joys of parenting abound.

As far as Logan is concerned, Jackson's name is "Jack!"  Both brothers have earned exclamation marks after their names.  That is how Logan says them.  His two big brothers, "Jack!" and "No No!"  We also have "Da!" (Dad), and "DoG!" (the dogs) who also often get told "Go!" when he says their names.  As in, "DoG!  GO!"   Shouting all the way.  He is now asking for more of any snack or drink by saying "Mmmmoe" which I think is adorable.  We have been working on that for a while in order to curb the screaming he WAS doing.  Some times he screams a little and then remembers and says, "Mmmmoe".  No exclamation.  "Mama" doesn't have an exclamation either.  I prefer to believe that is because he has tenderness in his experience of me.  Just let him have it.  Let me have it.

Logan is walking.  He doesn't walk ALL of the time, EVERYWHERE but he does really well.  He can walk several dozens of steps at a time, catch his balance, and change direction.  He has trouble when his giant head gets behind him and sends him onto his bottom.  Most often, whether he walks depends on how safely he wants to get to where he's going.  He's equally fast at crawling and walking, but his walking style is pell-mell and results in occasional big crashes.  His walking, however, is becoming "more controlled" and it won't be long before crawling goes the way of the dinosaur for him.

Both Jackson and Logan were sick last week.  After fighting off a cold (colds?) for more than two weeks, we had two sleepless nights, lots of sadness, and one fed-up mom.  I took them to the doctor on Friday last week and good ol' Doc Eberhard determined that Jackson had an ear infection, a sinus infection, and a bronchial virus.  Logan had infections in BOTH ears, a sinus infection, and RSV.  Needless to say, we filled the Amoxicillin and spent Valentine's Day, President's Day, and the Sunday in between, at home.  Jackson was pathetic.  He didn't even care that he missed his first Valentine's Day party at school.  Jeff brought his Valentines home for him and he spent the weekend reading (and eating) them.  He carried a particular Spongebob Valentine around all weekend.  How cute!  He loves Spongebob.  I guess that's okay?  Spongebob is weird but oh well.  They are both much better today and Jackson is outside with Jeff as I write this making a huge snowman in the massive amounts of snow we have been getting.    Logan is currently chasing "The Girls" (Saffron and Daisy) around the living room with a lawn mower walking toy my mom gave him for his birthday yelling, "DoG!  GO!"  Oh, they love it.  Trust me.

I have a new job.  It is something that is, I am sure, an answer to a prayer.  I have often felt frustrated this past year and a half at being a stay at home mom. I think that this is partly because of the years I HAVE worked out of the home and because I am uncomfortable not contributing financially when we really could use more.  I felt particularly frustrated earlier last week and then an opportunity fell into my lap as I met a dear friend for lunch.  I will be working for a company called My Veterinary Career

doing what we call "Match Making" for veterinarians and hospitals nationwide.  I will begin by helping the company recruit hospitals for us to take under contract.  Sort of a "let us be your matchmaker" kinda gig.  I have such a passion for the veterinary industry.  I have, as most of you know, worked in that industry for a great deal of my adult life.  I worked as a technician for nearly 7 years and have many long-term relationships with veterinarians across the western US.  I also have a very special sisterhood with a veterinarian on the East Coast.  The industry, while critical to so many of us in the US, is way behind schedule and is due an upgrade.  I will be working from home about 2 hours a day, 5 days per week, and will be able to make a significant contribution to the veterinary industry as well to my own sanity and our family's financial coffers.  I am really excited!  I will finish training this week and should be hard at it by next week.  I will have to update you on my progress.  If you have questions, you can visit the website at www.myveterinarycareer.com and I would be more than happy to answer them as well!  It is such an opportunity and, as I said earlier, an answer to a recent prayer.  Wish me luck!

Well, even though I said that not much was happening, you can see that there has been a lot going on.  This week promises more growth as Todd pours more metal on Thursday, enters negotiations with Winchester about the development of "non-lead shot", and prepares for another exercise on base.  I will continue my training with My Veterinary Career and will be the best mom I can, and the boys will be boys...I'm sure they'll do something raucous.  I will be hosting a bachelorette party for my friend Andrea this weekend.  We're planning some good clean fun, I'm sure to have more pictures next week.

Love to you all!

Here we go...

Well, I've been avoiding the whole "blog" thing for a while now.  I didn't want to "make the commitment".  However, I am starting to realize that with all that happens for us every single day, it is really the easiest way to update friends and family on our lives.  We are a busy bunch and have so much going on, I don't like to tell the same story over and over again and I worry that much is lost in translation by the 5th telling.  This way, like so many others out there, I can just tell people to go to our blog to get a full (and hopefully accurate) accounting of what we're up to.

So here we are, with the Holidays upon us.  After a busy football season for Todd and Jeff, we have had around 4 weeks of "down time" with regard to sports.  We don't really get any down time but taking daily practices and weekly games out of the mix made homework and family home evening a lot easier to attend to.  However, those times are over as wrestling season is upon us.  Jeffrey and Jackson are wrestling with the Roy High School Junior Wrestlers and practice two to three times per week and have weekly tournaments every Saturday morning. This goes on until December 6th.

It is amazing to me to see them wrestling.  With football, baseball/t-ball, and other team sports, I watch the team and hope my son gets the ball or has the sack so I can see him excell. With wrestling, I get to focus on my son as he works so hard to dominate his opponent.  Both Jeff and Jack are good wrestlers.  Those of you who have seen them perform athletically (whether formally through organized sports or informally in your yard on a sunny day) are not surprised to hear this.  This is the first year for both of them.  Jeff finds himself three, four, sometimes even five years behind the boys he is paired up with but he has yet to be pinned.  Jackson has less history to work against but he is young and still learning the rules.  Jeffrey has had more experience with applying rules in physical contest.  As I watch them both, I see two traits that stick out and are directly related to their success.  They are both incredibly strong and incredibly intense.  I don't think you could hold either of them down for three seconds just because that would mean an end to the match!  I told Todd Saturday afternoon that the hardest part about watching them is the intensity of the emotion.  Not just in my boys but in the boys they wrestle.  There is so much boiling going on in that tussle!  He explained (and I agree) that it is so good for them to learn to have such high and intense emotions in one moment and then to drop it all, shake hands, smile, and move on in the next.  I am excited we have made the decision to participate in this sport.  I am sure, as with all of our other adventures/experiments, it will be a wonderful ride.

Logan is creeping along in all of his nine month glory.  The owner of 6 erupted teeth and many more to come, he is battling his first REAL cold this week.  The poor little guy!  He has a stuffy nose, a nasty cough, and a hoarse little voice.  He is a patient and sweet baby and is doing his best to stay chipper.  I am hoping we get through the experience without it turning into croup.  This poor child doesn't need anymore medical issues this year.  Logan is smaller than the other two boys were at this age.  He is less precocious with his large motor skills and, instead, has learned to focus on the finer points.  He is working on words.  Yes!  Words!  I hear him trying to say, "more", "Mama", "Dog", "Dad", and other words.  He is very dexterous with his hands and can do things that the other boys weren't yet doing at this age.  He isn't crawling yet but he doesn't really need to as his two older brothers, and his parents, are great at "fetch" and "rescue".  He will come along, as his brothers did, all too soon and then I will be blogging about my frustration with childproofing a mostly stone-tiled home.  He is so sweet and special and has been such a blessing to us all this year.  We are grateful for his spirit in our home.

Jeffrey is learning a lot in the third grade.  I know he is learning to write cursive letters but he won't show them to me because he says he isn't any good at it.  I will continue to bother him until he shows me.  He needs to learn that we aren't always good at everything the first time we try it.  Some of us have to practice new skills for a while before we are adept.  Jeff isn't use to the idea of that since he is good at most things right away.  Jeff reads at a 4th grade level, is so good at math, and is learning to be a good speller and a good student.  One thing he is struggling with this year is that he is finally having to work a little at being a good student, it won't just happen.  I am hoping that this past quarter's grades help him to realize that good grades aren't always just going to happen to him.  I think it is starting to penetrate into his understanding, I pray that it is.

Jackson is loving Kindergarten.  He is loving that he is learning to read and write and that he can come home and show me new things and get such an amazed reaction.  He is struggling with sitting still and with focussing on "hard" things for a long time but I am told (and remember from when Jeff was 5) that these are typical things for 5 year-old boys to struggle with.  Jackson smiles all through his wrestling matches and is such a happy and loving boy.  He exclaims his love and yells it to us in such a joyful way every day as he heads for the front doors of Hooper Elementary.  What would we do without Jackie?

Todd is working to get the start up company he is a part of off the ground.  So much of the work that goes into Phoenix Alloys is faith, hope, and trust.  In himself, his partners, and the Lord. He is doing a great job!  He works hard on the product and development of new and better ways to get it done, so that is part of every day but the rest of it is prayer.  He gets to go to Roosevelt, Utah once or twice and month and that is fun for him because he gets to see his grandmothers and reconnect with the Bastian/Elmer sides of his family.  I am proud of Todd, his steadfast faith and courage and his patience with me.  I have struggled to be patient and faithful and he is a great and gentle reminder.  We are growing stronger together than we ever have and we are grateful for that.

Our little farm is a daily joy and soap opera.  The horses, dogs, goats, cats, and house birds are all very tame in comparison to the chicken drama.  I never knew chickens had such drama!  I thought we would get them, get some farm fresh eggs, maybe sell a few to other people, and then eat them when they stop producing down the road but no, that is not the case.  Between the neighbor's dog, three roosters (all but one were supposed to be hens), and the innate drama that they are born with, every day is a new story.  This whole blog could easily turn into "The Chicken Letters".  I promise it won't.  It could though.

So, that was long but it was my first.  I promise, from now on, I will keep things short and simple.  I will update you weekly and let you know about the things (and feelings) that really matter.  I also hope that this brings you joy and that it brings us closer together.  I am happy to share my life and family with others mainly because, at this point, I am convinced that learning new things and experiencing major life lessons is what life is about.

I am grateful for my blessings and for all that I have.  I am grateful for my family and I am grateful for you, my friends.